Wanderlust
by adorkable-mommie
Summary: Recently divorced Donna Noble has an uncontrollable desire to travel. While on a trip to New York Donna runs into John Smith and they share a weekend together and it changes them.
1. Chapter 1

*This story takes place in two diffrent time lines. For Donna it's about 5 years after the Doctor took her memories and she's now divorced and traveling. For the Doctor it's only been a few months since he lost Donna.

**Wanderlust**

Chapter 1

**Summery: After her divorce from Shaun, Donna Noble decides to travel. On a trip to New York Donna runs into John Smith a man she's only met once but he seems so familiar. **

Port Jefferson, New York was lovely this time of year the Long Island sound was gorgeous she could watch the boats come into harbor for hours, and she sat out on the beach looking into the sound in a low seated, blue and white stripped beach chair. She wore her hair braided back in one long French braid. She wore a bathing suit, a modest two piece that showed of absolutely nothing, as she wore a tank top and cut off shorts over it. She also wore a hat, an over sized woven sun hat that laid lazily on her head, her long braid pulled over her shoulder, she twirled it in her fingers. She bit her lip as the sound of the steam powered ferry's horn filled the beach. She liked the sound of the ships deafening honk, it made her feel some how close to the small town she was visiting. Donna looked up and saw the many people getting off the boat and walking down the docks some were greeted by smiling faces and loved ones, while others were commuters practically running to their cars. She noticed a man in a long brown coat with a big smile, his hands were in his pockets, he wore shades, his hair was messy and he wore a brown pinstripe suit. She knew that man it took her a moment to remember him but she knew him. She hopped up from her chair leaving behind her belongings she raced to the docks and called out "John!" but he didn't respond. She shouted again and he looked up with a shocked look on his face.

The Doctor was investigating something strange. There were traces of an alien chemicals in the local water supply, he was looking into how they got there and took the ferry from Port Jefferson to Bridgeport to talk to the corporation that built the water treatment plant. Of coarse things didn't go as planned and the CEO turned out to be Slitheen and 10 people lost their lives, but that was better than the 18,000 that were in danger, at least that's what he said to try and make himself feel better about it. So there he was adventure over and back to his TARDIS which was parked next to a little antique shop in Port Jefferson, things hadn't been the same since Donna left, he thought. As he walked off the ferry he noticed the beach he thought of all the times Donna wanted to go to the beach and all the times he didn't take her. Oh what he would give to see her again. That's when he heard her voice "John" it shouted out to him. He thought he was dreaming but he saw her, and he smiled the biggest smile in the universe. Just the sight of her made him forget for a moment that 10 people died because he couldn't save them. His hearts raced as she ran to him and he ran to her.

"Donna? Donna Noble?" He asked. She looked different, older but younger in a way. She smelled like a Time Lady, she was thinner, but not by much. Her eyes had changed little like there was more heartbreak in them. She didn't have to tell him she'd recently got her heart broken, he could already tell.

"You remember me? I didn't think you would it's been, five years and..."

"Five years?" He asked curiously.

It didn't take long for them to start chatting. He walked her to the beach and she enjoyed the overwhelming since of familiarity that came from him. He helped her carry her things back to the house she was renting. "Do you live here now?" he asked.

"No." she said as they stepped up on to the grand porch of the old beach front home, she was staying at, "I'm renting this place, I needed a break from London and I read about these historical houses near the beach, I found out you can rent them, I thought why not?"

"Where did you get the money for that?" The Doctor asked

"I won the lottery, my grand-dad didn't tell you?" Donna asked. The Doctor was a little shocked, it really must have been a long time since she'd seen him. She'd won the lottery, what a perfect way to insure Donna is taken care of, he thought. He made a mental note that he'd have to pop back in time at some point to make sure that happens.

"No, we haven't seen each other in, years." The Doctor explained. "So..." he started, hoping to change the subject, "do you know anything about this house?"

"Yes, I read about this house on the Internet before I rented, it's the story of the woman that first lived her that brought me to this place." Donna's demeanor changed she suddenly became very sad. The Doctor could see it on her face. "The house was built by a man named Fredrick Malone he was the Captain of his own ship, he built the house for his wife. When he was out to sea she used to sit just there." Donna pointed to the edge of the porch were there sat some ancient looking patio furniture. "She'd sit there everyday knitting his socks until he came home."

There was a sadness in her voice and the Doctor stepped closer unsure why she sounded so held her hands and lead her to the corner of the porch "There's more isn't there?" He asked. She nodded. They sat down in the ancient chairs and both sat looking into each others eyes.

He felt so familiar, the way he gently held her hand as they sat, the way he looked at her his breath on her skin. "One night there was a storm, it was bad and the next day the storm cleared but he never came home. She sat out here for several days unable to eat or drink anything she was so depressed she just wanted to be back with him." Her breath deepened and her heart beat quicked. He moved closer when he heard the cracking of her voice, she was fighting tears. The Story of Mrs. Malone touched her and she couldn't even remember why.

"And then what happened." The Doctor asked. His mouth so close to hers now. The voices in his head calling to him 'kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her...' on and on they called to him.

Donna took a deep breath, she moved closer to him their lips were touching, but she kept talking "She chose to forget. Spontaneous amnesia they called it. Two years her life gone."

"What happened to her, did she move on, live a happy life?" He asked desperately hoping she had, because if this woman did then maybe just maybe Donna could... 'kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her...'

Donna stopped she pulled away as she spoke. "No. She went on about her life not remembering, knowing just what people told her, until she couldn't take it anymore." Donna stood up and walked to the edge of the porch. The Doctor wasn't about to let her go he stood up to and followed her. He wrapped her in his arms from behind. "She killed herself." Donna said with a whisper. "She remembered one day, she just remembered everything and she jumped into the ocean and swam away, no one saw her again." Donna said.

"Maybe she didn't die. Maybe she swam away and found a better life somewhere away from it all." He whispered in her ear. "Donna."

She turned in his arms, facing him. "John" she said as she lost it, she lost all thought, all reservation, and all senses as he kissed her. The kiss was unchaste there was no way in hell the Doctor was going to give her anything less then all of him.

.


	2. Chapter 2

Wanderlust

Chapter 2

She wasn't sure how they made it to the big brass bed in the master bedroom she seemed to lose all senses when he kissed her.

She remembered he kissed her and she remembered kissing him back, she remembered the taste of his mouth and the feel of his lips across the skin of her neck and down her chest. She remembered the sound of a dog barking and it startled them both. They were still outside still insight of passerbys, and what a sight they must have been. The pair started laughing like children as they pushed themselves apart to go inside. Now here she was underneath him on a bed that wasn't even hers. How did she get here she asked herself though, she didn't want to think about it. She just wanted to think about what she was doing at that very moment.

The Doctor couldn't believe it. When he'd started the day the last person in the universe he thought he'd run into was Donna. But she was the best surprise he could have gotten and now here they were pulling at each other's clothing. Donna tried to kick off her shoes while still holding him tight. The Doctor helped her lift off her top to reveal a pink and yellow stripped bikini top. Her cream colored skin looking so soft and her full breast looked magnificent nestled in the pink and yellow top her nipples so hard he could easily see them sticking up under the fabric. He untied the straps and back releasing her breasts into his waiting hands. They both groaned as he touched them.

He knew how just how to touch her, had he touched her before? Had they made love and she just couldn't remember? The way he kissed her neck it was like he'd done so before like he witnessed her trembling body in his arms before. She took a deep breath and let out a soft cry. His hands gently caressing her body.

Donna started unbuttoning his shirt she wanted his chest against hers she wanted to feel his hearts beating against hers. She paused for a moment pulling away from him. She looked at him, took, him in. Why did she long to feel his hearts? She asked herself 'why hearts? How do I know that?' He could see her mind wondering he'd hoped he hadn't caused her to remember something. Still he needed her and that selfish carnal desire took control and he pulled her to his lips and she fell into him.

She continued where she left off and he helped. He unbuttoned his trousers and kicked off his shoes. She pulled her shorts off and the rest of her bathing suit. When they saw they were both finally relieved of clothing the Doctor hovered above her and regarded her body with tenderness and love. He was in love with her, it was clear to both of them and she was in love with him. He stared down at her body. He looked at her breast her large hips that could, bare him so many children, or could of he corrected his thought. In another time, in another universe they could have been together like that. But not here. He brushed his hand up her leg rubbing her thigh. "John" she said quietly trying to grab him and pull him closer.

"I want to look at you." He answered. His hand slowly moving up to her hip. "I want to remember every detail of your body. I never want to forget." The words slipped from his lips. For a moment he'd forgotten that she didn't remember that they'd done this before, just once after their visit to Midnight.

She couldn't help but feel like he knew her better than she knew him, she soon became self conscious and sat up. She pulled her legs in to her chest covering her breasts, "We've done this before, haven't we?" she asked him tears running down her face. There was a lump in his throat he gulped down and got out of the bed. He sat in a near by chair and glanced around the room. He was too busy with Donna to notice anything about the room they were in other then the bed. The wallpaper was old and very dated, 'must have been put in about 1901' he thought to himself. The wallpaper was covered in soft pink and lavender roses with an off white background. The sun had still not set completely and the last of the suns rays was peeping through the white curtains. A window was open and the Doctor felt the soft breeze as it blew in. There was a deep and uncomfortable silence in the room. "I asked you a question." she was starting to get annoyed, he could tell.

"Yes. We knew each other once and it feels like it's been so long ago. Everday i've spent without you has been worse then hell. And i've been to hell, Donna, I..." He didn't know what else to say.

"I don't remember you." She said with a clear and deep sadness. The Doctor know just by her tone that he'd made a mistake, that he'd made everything worse.

"You're the one that gave me the lottery ticket aren't you?" He didn't know if her voice sounded like she was mad or revealed.

"I don't know." He said. It was the truth, it was his intention give her a winning ticket at some point but he hadn't done it yet.

"Are you or are you not the one that gave me the winning ticket?" This time she was mad.

"I believe I am." hoping that would be good enough for her.

"You rigged the lottery then?" She asked.

"Something like that." He answered.

"You must be very powerful." She took a breath. " why were you with me?"

"I liked you, thats how it started, then I loved you." He confessed.

"Why did you leave me after my amnesia?"

He got out of his chair, he needed to be with her to physically touch her. He climbed back into the bed and was pleased to see that she welcomed him back by lowering her knees and reaching to him. She didn't want him to go, she wasn't mad at him she just wanted to know. He slid into the bed never breaking eye contact with her. He brought his body back to hers and he felt complete again and so did she. "I didn't want to leave you, i'm sorry I had to."

"Why?" She kissed him, it was quick and just a peck but it was enough to make him weak. "I'm a dangerous man." He kissed her freckled skin. He wasn't joking or lying, he was telling the truth, and it hurt.

"Is that why my Mum hates you, why she talks about you to Gramps when she thinks i'm not around?"

He kissed her again and, "I hurt you. What I did to you is unforgivable."

"Yet I don't remember?" She asked, confused.

"No, no, you can't remember, you can never ever remember Donna." He was begging her. She could tell he was begging her not to remember. Donna didn't know why but she needed him, she needed him to kiss her, to hold her, she needed him to make love to her and he needed it even more.


	3. Chapter 3

_*warning this chapter doesn't have a happy ending._

**Wanderlust**

Chapter 3

The steam from the shower covered the mirrors of the Victorian style bathroom. Donna stood naked in the cast iron tub, the brass shower head blazed hot water at her but it felt cold compared to how hot he made her from behind. His chest rubbed against her back his arms wrapped around her. One hand pulled at her hip while the other at her breast. He bit her ear and then he kissed down her neck. She moaned and shivered and he pressed himself against her in response. She turned towards him to look into his lustful eyes, she wondered why she couldn't remember but he so obviously did.

She pulled away from him and turned the shower off. She grabbed a towel to dry herself she was feeling anxious and like she couldn't breath. She wanted out she needed to be outside, she needed fresh air and ocean water. She stumbled into the master bedroom and she found her tank top, her bikini bottoms but she couldn't find her shorts, but it didn't matter there wasn't enough time she needed out. She was about to throw up but she some how kept it all at bay but she was starting to panic. She pulled on her bikini bottoms and ran out of the house in a hurry. She ran to the beach, faster and faster she ran, she could hear voices in her head screaming at her saying things that didn't make sense. "Time Lord...Time Lord...Time Lord...Time Lord..." she took a deep breath and could smell him coming, she knew that smell, he smelled like her and she like him. The voices chanted louder and louder "Time Lord...Time Lord...Time Lord...Time Lord...Time Lord..." She felt dizzy she couldn't breath. She knew he'd follow her and he did, he was there to catch her as she fell. She fainted but she was okay.

She woke up in his arms and in her favorite pair of pajamas. She thought she lost them years ago sometime before she'd lost her memory, now she knew that he must have had them all along. He kissed her forehead and said hello with just a smile. "You had a panic attack and fainted."

"I just needed fresh air." She tried to sit up but he wouldn't let her.

"Lay down, you need to rest." The Doctor was fully dressed now, long coat and she knew that meant he was going to leave now. The sad look on his face was also a give away.

"Please don't go." She begged and began to sob.

"I can't stay, i'm dangerous..." He paused trying to come to terms with what he was trying to say, "to you. I'm dangerous to you."

"Why?" She needed to know but knew he had nothing more to say. "Stay with me tonight, please just stay with me tonight."

"Donna I..." He wanted to tell her no but how could he? He took off his coat and laid down next to her spooning against her body and for the first time since he lost her he fell into sleep like a satisfied baby.

The morning sun began to shine through the windows of the seemingly ancient Victorian home and the morning birds filled the room with sounds of music. Donna expected to wake up to him, to his loving arms around her body. Instead she was all alone. She stared out at the roses on the wallpaper she couldn't move she'd never felt so empty in her life.


	4. Chapter 4

*Thank you all for reading. I'm sorry the last chapter was so depressing. Warning this chapter has an attempted rape. Thank you for reading and if you don't mind please review.

Wanderlust

Chapter 4

Donna Noble wasn't going to lay down and die, she wasn't going to let the emptiness consume her, she pulled herself out of bed and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and imagined what it would have been like if he had stayed. She sighed "Mr. Mysterious, John Smith." She closed her eyes. "Mr. Would-have-left-eventually." She whispered. She walked to the window of the master bedroom and looked out towards the tiny Long Island village she thought about the house, the history and the woman that lived there. There was something she remembered, she looked around the room looking for her pair of cut-offs from the night before, there was something in the pocket. She shuffled the sheet around and huffed when it wasn't there. She looked all over the floor and she spotted them sticking out from under the bed along with the Doctor's tie. "Oh." She sighed rubbing the silk tie with her thumb. She tossed it the side and retrieved her pair of cut-offs. She reached into the pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. It was a photocopy of the a news article about the former owners of the house. She smiled as she thought about her lovers words "Maybe she didn't die. Maybe she swam away and found a better life somewhere away from it all." She knew what she had to do, she had to swim away.

Donna ran out of the house and towards the ocean. She didn't stop until she reached the beach. She felt the water at her feet and knew he had to be free. Donna jumped into the ocean and began to swim. She didn't want to stop, not until she found a better place.

**_2 Months Later..._**

Soft autumn air blew over Mexico City and the smell of corn husks, smog, and sweet cakes filled Donna Noble's nose. It was like she was smelling life for the first time. The light of the full moon seemed like the brightest light she'd ever seen. The colors that danced in the moonlight seemed brighter than they ever had before. The yellows, green,and reds of the confetti shooting through the streets and floating by to dance before Donna like tiny snow flakes. Sounds of the giant city around her seemed to crash into her body it was almost over whelming. She pulled her oversized sunglasses over her face though it was night. She walked through crowds celebrating Día de los Muertos. She'd read about the celebration in magazines but she never expected to see it for real. She watched the many people parading down the streets holding the favorite foods, photos, and paintings of their dearly departed. Celebrating the life and Women in long skirts walked bare foot with faces painted white like skulls. Teenagers ran past her dressed in ripped jeans and wearing mohawks, she smiled as they ran past her. The thrill of traveling had seemed to awaken an energy inside of her she noticed that lately she'd been feeling sensitive to everything around her. Sounds, lights, smells and tastes had changed everything was better and it all started after her night with John Smith. Even her desire to travel had increased and in the two months since John she'd been to Los Angeles, She'd been to Tokyo, and Hong Kong, and now she was in glorious Mexico. Everyday was filled with shopping trips, tanning at the resort pool, and enjoying the sights. Mexico was lovely, she thought. She continued walkig the streets of the festival when she realized she'd left her mobile phone and money at the hotel. She turned down one of the side alleys, a short cut she discovered the day before, it was dark but she wasn't scared. As she walked the dark alley she took a deep breath through her nose, taking in the smell, she noticed that smells change from city to city, country to country she wanted to remember everything. Then she smelled him, "John?" she said turning around only to find two men behind her dressed in black. "Hola." One said with a sadistic laugh. The other spoke to her in English with a heavy accent. "Hello, pretty girl." His voice was creepy and it sent a chill down her spine. Suddenly both men attacked her. She turned to run but she couldn't get away fast enough. One pulled her down from behind while the other grabbed her legs. They took her to through the door of a near by building. They pushed her to the floor, one of the men blind folded her while she felt the other cuff her. "We're going to have so much fun." One of the men said.

"Not as much fun as i'm gonna have when I get my hands on you!" she shouted there was no way Donna was going to let him get away with anything, she struggled and successfully kicked one of the men. She could not see and was handcuffed from behind but she was able to get up she tried to run but the other man stepped in her way. He grabbed her from the front wrapping his hands around her neck.

"You're a bad girl" He said darkly as he chocked her. Then suddenly everything went silent and the man stopped. A cold chill went up her chest and she felt butterflies in her stomach, "El Diablo" she heard the man groan.

Then she heard another voice. "Devil? No just Doctor." There was a light tone about it and she knew that voice.

"John? Is that you?" She asked.

Her answer was give with the release of her hand cuffs and blind fold. "John, it really is you." She said to the smiling face before her.

"Donna Noble, let's get you out of here." He offered her his hand and she took it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wanderlust.**

Chapter 5.

Donna slid her keycard into the scanner and listened for the sound of the lock clicking open. The sound was like music to her ears. Donna opened the door and the walked inside the Doctor followed.

Donna gave him a disapproving glare. "They were going to rape me, weren't they?"

"Yah." The Doctor nodded.

"But you saved me?" She asked

"Yah I did." He confirmed, he wanted to add that he'd always come to save her but he didn't.

"How did you? I mean what are the odds that Donna Noble and John Smith would be in Mexico at the same time and same place and you just happened to see two men assaulting me?" She was trying to make sense of it all.

The Doctor knew he was in trouble. The truth is he'd been following her, from her swim in the ocean, her trip to Japan, to China, through her shopping trip on Rodeo Drive, he was there for all of it. He wasn't going to lose Donna not after the time they spent together. He decided to tell the truth. "Donna, i've been following you."

"Why?" Donna asked.

"Because I love you."

"Why did you leave me ?" She asked.

"I told you I was dangerous." His eyes gazed at her with love and honesty.

"I need a shower, don't you dare leave before I get out." She demanded.

The Doctor nodded and watched her walk away leaving the bathroom door ajar. As he heard the water turn on he noticed the door was ajar just enough for him to see her taking her clothes off. She wore a tight fitting, white, cotton, top with a long black skirt. She pulled her top off and looked into the mirror, she saw him staring. They made eye contact for a moment though the mirror and then she closed the of the night they spent together haunted the Doctor's mind at times. There were times when he all he wanted was to be with her. He thought about how she wasn't even aware that he had followed her around the world, sometimes even sneaking into her hotel room just to watch her sleep. She had no idea how many times he saved her from being mugged or worse. He walked over to the mini bar. He feared he was in store for a great tongue lashing so he figured he'd try and warm her over with a margarita, they were always her favorite. He took off his coat and brown pinstriped jacket. He rolled up his sleeves and got started mixing their drinks.

Donna walked out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. She was beautiful. The towel held her breast tightly together and it was hard for the Doctor to focus when he looked at her. "Donna." He stood at the foot of Donna's hotel bed and held up a full margareta glass. "I made us something to drink." He said and Donna stepped over to him and took the glass.

"Why are you following me when you don't want to be with me? Is this some kind of a sick fetish?" She was angry.

"No, no fetish, no sick game. Donna I want to be with you more than you could ever know but we can't." He tried to explain. She stood right in front of him, about an arms distance away.

Some how she knew what he was saying was for her benefit. She took a sip from her glass and placed it on a near by table. "Tell me something about us, the us that was and the me I was before I lost my memories."

"I can't." He said with a pain filled rasp to his voice.

There it was again, she thought, the unbearable pain , she was so angry with him yet everything was already forgiven. "Please, John tell me something about us."

It was the desperation in her voice that seemed to cause him the most grief, he'd only ever wanted her to be happy, he only wanted to spend forever with her. Why couldn't he have that? Why couldn't he have her and she him? He stood before her at his most weak and vulnerable. "To me you are the most important woman in all of creation and I love you. I used to have a hard time saying that but not anymore. I love you, I love you, I..." He began to lose it now and she stepped closer. "I. Love. You." That's was all she needed to hear.

Donna stepped forth and kissed him. The kiss was sudden and sweet but he wasn't going to let her go. He placed a hand on her hip and another on her back. He pressed his lips to hers and she accepted. Their lips moved together slowly but with meaning. He was so broken when she pulled away.

His dark eyes, red with tears gazed at the woman he loved as she slowly took off her towel. He watched it fall to the floor and then he looked her over from the bottom of her feet to the top of her hair. Something was different about her but he couldn't tell what.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The Doctor never meant to hurt Donna but it seemed as though he had every time he saw her and here his was again in her bed. As he laid back on her bed he gazed at the woman on top of him, the bedside candle light made her hair all the more red and her eyes seemed to sparkle . The Doctor couldn't help but run his fingers through her still wet hair. She was hovered above him moving in a way that felt like heaven for a moment and he watched her and with every thrust he wanted more and so did she. Her moans were like fuel for his desire, He moved his hands from her hair to her naked shoulders and moved his hands down her arms, gently squeezing them, before moving them back up . There was something different about her since they'd last made love, it was almost like she was more Time Lord some how but there was something else, something he couldn't put his finger on.

Donna wished she could say no and kick him out, she should have said no to him, she should have screamed at him for leaving, for hurting her, and for not telling her why he took her memories away. How did she know that? Why would she think he took her memories away? She didn't have time to think about it, not with him kissing her and not with him touching her body, all she knew was that she was weak, that he made her weak.

The after glow was the best his favorite part, her in his arms again. He wrapped his long arms around her and she nestled into his chest. With one hand he stroked her ginger hair. "Why did you take my memories away?" She asked.

The Doctor was shocked, how could she know that? He thought. "I had to, I had no choice."

"And if I remember I die?" She asked but it really wasn't a question.

He kissed her forehead. He knew he'd have to leave her again but before he does he had to find out what was happening, he had to find out why she was remembering. "Donna have you been having head aches lately?" He asked.

"No." She answered. Donna sat up she could tell he was worried about something "What's wrong Doctor?" Donna asked.

The Doctor gasped and sat up quickly, "What did you call me?" He asked.

"Doc-Doc-John." She felt confused. H e reached for his coat and pulled out his glasses and his sonic screwdriver in one quick swipe of his hand. "What are you doing?" She asked, she was starting to panic.

He scanned her with his sonic. "Do you know what this is Donna?" He asked as he glanced at the readings.

"I don't know what that is. Why would I?" She said confused.

The Doctor took a deep breath, "Donna, I need to tell you something."

All Donna could think about was how sad he looked. She was bracing herself for the bad news.  
"I'm dying arn't I? I've been suspecting cancer, i'm sick aren't I?" She sighed.

"No, you're healthy, very healthy You might be in your 40's but you've got the body of a 20 year old. Fit as a fiddle, that's you. But something is changing you Donna your DNA is changing."

Donna looked back at him in shock she didn't know why she believed him when he was barely making sense. "Why am I changing?" She asked covering herself with a near by sheet. She got out of the bed and stood leaning against a near by wall.

"First tell me why you called me the Doctor." He said. He stood up and found his clothing, he started dressing.

"It's your name, isn't it?" She asked. "Oh no, it's not. Your name is John." She placed a hand on her head and took a deep breath.

" Yes my name is the Doctor." He pulled his trousers on and buttoned them. "Do you know why you know that?" He smiled, pulling on his shirt. "Donna, you're going to need to sit down, we have a lot to talk about." He walked over to her and grabbed a hold of her hand, he led her back to the bed and sat beside her. "We have so many wonderful things to talk about."


	7. Chapter 7

Wanderlust

Chapter 7

She moaned placing a hand on her head. A sharp pain shot from one side of her brain to the other. She placed a hand to the back of her head and leaned into it. It was obvious the pain was getting worse.

"Donna it's alright." the Doctor said tenderly rubbing her back with on hand and placing the other on the side of her face. "Even without the meta-crisis interspecies genetic transfer is rather painful but you'll get through it, I promise." He smiled at her proudly with so much admiration and hope in his eyes, Donna didn't understand why he looked at her like that.

"Interspecies what?" She asked she knew what ever he was saying was fact, even though it didn't make a lick of sense. There was another sharp pain and Donna winced.

The Doctor waited patiently for her pain to ease rubbing her back gently. "Donna i'm an alien, do you understand that?"

"You're an alien?" she asked looking him over. "I think I've always known that." her voice was soft and quiet and unsure. He could tell her pain was growing.

"You are human." He said and she nodded in return. "A long time ago, for you, and months ago for me you took my mind into your head." Donna stared at him in silence not knowing what to say. "To keep you alive I had to take away your memories otherwise your mind would burn and you would die. I lost you but you were alive." Tears began to form in the Doctors eyes. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done." He confided.

"Am I dying now? I'm remembering and dying?" She asked.

"Oh no." He smiled. "Back in Port Jefferson when we made love a miracle happened, Donna..." he took his hand from her back and placed it gently on her belly. "You're pregnant."

Donna's eyes widened, "but...but...I can't be I'm too old."

"No you're not. Through exposure to the time vortex and exposure to my DNA when you touched my... well, i'll explain that one later." He took a deep breath trying to find the best words to explain. "Donna you're younger than you think."

"This is a lot to take in." She trembled a little, I think I need some water. The Doctor stood up and pulled a bottle of water out of a near by mini fridge and handed it to her. She took a few sips and laid down, she was exhausted and it seemed the more they interacted the more she remembered and it was going to be a painful process to get her memories back. He was slightly scared because he didn't fully understand what was happening but he was going to find out and understand, he was not going to lose his Donna again.

As Donna slept the Doctor snuck out to the TARDIS and silently moved his ship to Donna's room. He wanted the TARDIS medbay to be as close as possible. If everything went well he could be a father again, with Donna.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

Donna began to stir awake, wrapped comfortably in the Doctor's arms. "Good Morning." He whispered.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"It's almost noon." the Doctor sat up a little and Donna noticed he was completely dressed and she was not. She'd been in this situation with him before and quickly jumped out of bed pulling the sheet with her. Tears began to form in her eyes.

"You're leaving me, again." she accused.

"No. I'm not. Never again." He denied.

" Why are you dressed?"

"You've slept 12 hours already and I knew you'd be starving when you woke up so I got up and made breakfast for us, aboard the TARDIS. Do you remember the TARDIS?" He asked.

The sadness in Donna's eyes softened. "I am hungry." She acknowledged.

"Donna I know it's going to take sometime for you to remember that you can trust me. I also know I didn't help matters when I left last time. I will never leave you again." and that's when the Doctor realized he was making promises he couldn't keep. He knew that he needed to keep her time line intact if he wanted to keep all he was building with her. Which meant that he would have to leave her again, but not forever, he took comfort in that part.

"What is that?" Donna pointed to the TARDIS that now sat in her hotel room.

"That is my TARDIS- well I suppose it's our TARDIS now." He smiled at her. "Do you want to go inside? I made tea and omelets. Just then Donna's face turned white. And the Doctor remembered an very important fact about human pregnancies as Donna struggled to run to the bathroom dropping her sheet as she went. The Doctor could hear her vomiting into the toilet. The Doctor heard the flush and the water running and hoped that was all the morning sickness she had for the day but he was wrong. Donna stepped out of the bathroom and looked him over only to turn around and vomit again.

The Doctor sat patiently on the bed waiting for Donna to emerge, he thought about the potential of a baby and what that would mean for the universe. Soon the thoughts of the dangers that could come to a child. He tried to push away the feelings of worry and fear, he was determined to hold on to everything that was good about this. He took a deep breath he let his mind relax and as he did so he could feel Donna, the nauseous ache in her gut, the soreness of her swollen breasts and the feeling of cold water hitting her face. Oh how he had forgotten what it felt like to be near Donna again. Suddenly the Doctor felt Donna tense up fear taking over her. He darted from his seat on the bed and ran to the bathroom door. Before he could try to open it he heard a cry and the door flew open. "They were all dying and you stood there watching them like a madman you didn't care. They were dying her babies were dying." Donna said trembling as her eyes gazed upon him with so much fear and disgust. "The Oncoming Storm, The Bringer of Darkness..." She gasped and stepped back from him.

"Donna." He tried to touch her shoulder but she stepped away. "Donna, please let me explain." The Doctor placed a hand on her shoulder but she pulled away.

"You've killed so many." She said calmly but a bit confused.

"Some of what you're experiencing are my memories, it's because of what happened to you." He placed a hand back on her shoulder, "I know it's scary, I know, Donna you have to trust me. You lost all your memories and they are coming back to your slowly and some of them may not come back in order." She stepped towards him and allowed him to guide her to the bed. "Relax Donna."

"Joh- I mean Doctor." Donna cringed and hoped she didn't upset him. "I'm sorry."

"Donna, it's alright, you can call me John if it makes it easier." he said.

"How many have you killed?" she asked tears falling from her eyes. The fear was gone, replaced with disappointment. He'd let her down.

"Too many, I don't know." He said, ashamed of what he was before, ashamed of who he is now. "I'm sorry I can't change that."

"When will the pain in my head go away, the pounding pain, when will it go away?" she asked. "And why am I seeing your memories too?"

"I don't know, Donna, this has never happened before. Human- Timelord metacrisis and now pregnancy. Your remarkable." He tried to smile but could not. "I've done some terrible things but I want to be better, for you. I've never enjoyed killing."

Donna closed her eyes bracing for another sharp pain through her mind, from one side to another and sometimes throbbing pain Donna tried to bare it but instead she exploded with more tears. She cried harder and harder and the Doctor knew that his memories from the last time war were emerging.

"Donna I need to get you into the TARDIS. This isn't working, you need to be sedated until your memories and my memories are intact in your mind." He tried to explain but she was scared again. "Trust me, please?" Donna nodded. It was all she could do, she was in so much pain. "Come now, Donna Noble, it's time to go home." He picked her up from the bed and she wraped her arms around his neck, at first afraid and holding on for dear life but within seconds the feeling of his strong arms holding her study made her relax into him. Donna didn't know what to think, is he good or bad? She asked herself, is he a killer or a protector? She didn't know.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 **

The Doctor laid her down on the bed in the TARDIS medbay. He placed a small white electrical device to her forehead he pushed a button at the top, there was a high pitched beep and the Doctor looked to a computer screen on the wall above him. The sound of Donna's heart beat filled the room as an image of her brain displayed on screen for him.

Donna was in so much pain she didn't realized that she'd left her hotel room at first. She could hear and feel the TARDIs all round her and it felt good like a familiar blanket. She was suddenly aware of the life growing inside her and then she heard the Doctor's voice inside her head, _"Donna, looked at me." _

She couldn't believe he was in her mind. She tried to speak but he hushed her "Doctor, it hurts." She called to him in his head. _"how i'm I doing this? I'm scared. These memories your memories, so alone, so lost and so sad. They hurt."_ She looked up at him feeling weak from the flooding memories. _"It hurts."_ she projected to him again.

"_I know._ Donna, because you're carrying my child and because of the way we feel for one another, we can communicated telepathically, but that will be mostly gone when the baby is born." he tried to explain, "I can feel everything you're feeling, it's not as intense for me but I can still feel it- feel you. I can turn it off and stay out of your mind and your pain, or I can take on more of your pain for you, tell me what you want me to do."

"Please..." was all she could manage to speak as tears ran from her red bloodshot eyes. He tried to hush her but she kept trying to speak. A light flashed on the computer screen. She was being over loaded with his memories. She was now burning up to his touch. He knew what he had to do.

Donna was slipping in and out of consciousness, mostly out. But she couldn't get away from the burning. The feeling of burning in her mind and the images of his home planet burning and filling her with fear and confusing there was no getting away from it. Donna screamed in agony, and called out his name, his real name, the sound of her voice echoed through the room and in his ear.

He swallowed deep, tears formed in his eyes, it had been so long since he heard his name. He brought his hands to her face and closed his eyes. He found the pain inside her head and took it into his. It burned like nothing he'd physically felt before, how could he be so selfish not to offer to take on her pain earlier, he thought. As the pain left her body exhaustion set in she fell into a deep sleep. He laid beside her on the bed, hoping the pain would subside soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Donna woke up to the familiar smell of her mother's home. She turned slightly to take a good look at her surrounding, she was in her room, her room at her mother's house. Donna sat up a moment, her head pounding, she was in pain again. She wanted to take a deep breath but the pain preventing it. She heard footsteps outside her door and hushed voices, "You did right, you brought my daughter home, now leave!." she heard her mother say.

"I'm not leaving her behind, not again. Besides there's something I haven't told you." Donna heard the Doctor's voice but she could also feel his discomfort, he was fearful of the way Sylvia would react, he knew he'd get at the very least one hell of a slap but there was something else, Donna could feel the emotion but she didn't understand it. 'Time Lord and their complicated emotions' she thought. One thing was for sure her mother really did scare him.

"What now?" Sylvia asked with an unpleasant tone.

"Donna's pregnant." The Doctor confessed.

"I doubt that you do know how old she is, besides she'd need a man for that."

Donna could hear the Doctors words before he said them, and she cringed he had such a big mouth, she thought. No wonder he was always getting into trouble. "Or a Time Lord." He regretted his words as soon as he said them.

There was a pause followed by the loud sound of a slap. Donna felt the burning of the Doctor's cheek on hers.

"What was that for?" The Doctor shouted. Donna felt the Doctor's hand slowly rubbing away the sting.

"You sick alien freak!" Sylvia shouted "You impregnated my daughter. All you ever wanted to do was breed with her!" Sylvia accused.

"No... well yes.. but" There was another slap, this one hurt so much it took Donna's breath away. "She's awake." He said instead.

"How do you know?" Sylvia demanded.

"I can feel her." He said and opened the door. Sylvia followed him in.

Donna wasn't in the mood to deal with her mother, not with the pain pounding in her head and the burning of the slaps against her cheeks so she kept her eyes closed.

"She's still sleep." Sylvia said in her nastiest tone.

The Doctor eyed Donna for a moment he knew she was awake. "I think she's going to wake up soon, she'll need some food." He saw the look on her face she was worried about leaving them alone. "Sylvia, you know that tea wouldn't hurt. "

"What, and leave you alone with my Donna, I don't trust you." She said.

The Doctor was losing patience, "You never know I may impregnate her, Oh wait..." The Doctor said sarcastically.

Sylvia huffed and scowled at him, but deep down she new her pregnant daughter needed sustenance. "Fine and since you're obviously not going to leave I might as well make enough for three." She said, the Doctor had seen so much in his long life but he'd never seen a woman make an offer of food more unappealing. However, The Doctor appreciated her gesture of kindness, if you could call it that, but he couldn't help but wonder if she planned to poison him, or at the very least spit in this tea.

As soon as she left the room Donna tried to sit up. "Thank you. I just can't deal with..."

"It's alright." The Doctor said walking over to her bed. He ran a hand over her back and immediately the pain in her head went away. "You don't have to say a word, I understand completely."

"All those things I saw, your memories, your life, the things you've done, tell me they were just bad dreams." She was almost begging him.

"I wish I could tell you they were nightmares but I can't. I've killed people, Donna, I've fought in wars, I've lost almost everyone i've loved, I've let others die for me when they didn't have to, when I should have. I abandoned others, I abandoned you." He confessed.

Donna wrapped her arms around him. "I love you." she said. The Doctor returned her embrace and kissed her deeply.

He pulled away to take a long look at her. "And I love you." But he didn't have to say it she already had those memories.


End file.
